We kill the Archdemon ourselves, which is maybe what we should have done to begin with, and then turn back to Corypheus. And wait, aren’t you supposed to be an Elven God, Mythal? This is the best help you could provide me with, considering Thedas is in dire need? My dragon, Mythal’s dragon, weakened it a little but what a waste of my time tracking that beast down and making a deal with Mythal. The smoke clears and an Archdemon roars, but it’s his, not mine that survived. They turn over and over, vying for dominance, and then they both fall out of sight with a crash. My Archdemon leads his own high, then doubles back and plummets. How did we come to this? I don’t have long to consider the absurdity of our situation before Corypheus’ Archdemon swoops overhead, so close I can feel its breath. I think back to months before-before all of this started, before my life went to shit, when I could do whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I want your ugly mug ground into dust before this night ends. We fight, Corypheus and I, but he likes darting away to let his demons try to wear us down. Corypheus growls “you dare,” and I can’t help but laugh. My own Archdemon knocks it out of the air and starts to fight it back. He answers my insult by summoning his Archdemon. He talks far too much for someone supposedly hell-bent on destroying the world, on turning himself into a God. Can he just shut up so I can hit him now? Considering he just called me a “gnat,” I’m going to assume he’s not rooting for me. All bloody pomp and circumstance, aren’t you, Corypheus? He tells me this is a chance to prove which of us is worthy of godhood. His aim is to get closer to the breach to open it wide and engulf the world, so he raises the ruins from the ground into the air, sending rock and rubble and soldiers up and up. He’s pleased I’ve come, like we just had a pre-arranged date and he hadn’t just summoned me using the fucking anchor in my hand. She jumps into the fray, slicing demons in two and giving me a path to Corypheus. It’s Cassandra, who actually got off her arse for once. And I thought I was bad tempered! Someone yells from behind me. When they refuse, he unleashes demons to kill them. Corypheus spouts on for a moment about being a God and demands my soldiers bow to him. Lucky for me, as I guess as it gave me time to get here, but honestly Corypheus you are the laziest villain. When we arrive, he’s busy grandstanding rather than actually getting on with breaking the breach wide open. I return to the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes to greet Corypheus. Might as well take the rest of you with me when I fail because you’re all incompetent fuck ups who can’t plan your way out of a paper bag. I tell them to get everyone ready for battle, but Cullen sheepishly reveals he still hasn’t called all of our troops back from the Arbor Wilds yet, so I won’t really have much back up. If we do not close it, the breach will swallow the world. I called a meeting, so we’re gathered around the war table, theorizing and sharing ideas regarding his possible whereabouts and plan, when my mark suddenly activates, and the breach in the sky once more opens up. How does a Tevinter Magister turned would-be-God just disappear with his Archdemon into thin air? If I didn’t need people to do some of the leg work for me, some of the administration, I’d fire you all for being so incompetent. We still have no idea where Corypheus is. Catch up on previous Bad Gamer installments if you missed them!
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